If you've watched the red carpet moments at any awards show recently, or seen "American Idol" judge Steven Tyler, you've witnessed the emergence of a fashion trend.
Seems a lot of fly-tyers and fly shop owners are clucking over the new fashion statement: feather hair extensions.
And the use of feathers in haute coiffure is raising a lot of hackles among those who are finding the supply of rooster capes dwindling at their local fur-and-feather emporiums.
My take is that like most fads, this too shall pass ... like a kidney stone.
So those who are in a position to exploit the trend — commercial tyers — should take advantage of the opportunity before it gets past the sell-by date.
I see a number of openings as expert fashion commentators on the aforementioned awards shows ...
Gus "Two Vises" Dorff: "Looks like Madonna's going for the hare ball leach look with those pink marabous."
Claude "Mr. Crystal Flash" Wilde: "I was just going to say. It's actually a lot more subdued than the egg sucking crystal bugger doo that she wore to the MTV Music Awards."
Both chuckled.
"That was the same show where Lady Gaga came with the live, pink-dyed gamecock strapped to her head, wasn't it?" Dorff asked.
"Right you are. Always over the top," Wilde said, nodding. "And let's just say that nobody at her table had ranch or blue cheese dressing on their salads, if you catch my drift."
There was a short pause as the next celebrity, Kathy Bates, came into camera range.
"Going with the muddler minnow extensions is such a great statement. Nothing says elegance like snippets of turkey quill," Dorff said. "So simple, so elegant, so age-appropriate."
"She really learned her lesson from that last feather faux pas," Wilde responded. "I mean what was she thinking when she went with purple matuka at the Golden Globes?"
Both slowly shook their heads at the memory.
"Although you've got to admit that the stylists at Marcel's Tackle Box Salon really know their way around a whip finish," Dorff offered.
Wilde interrupted the reverie.
"Oh my god! Isn't that ... Cher?" he gasped.
"Yep, and wouldn't you know it, she went with an anchovy zonker," Dorff said.
"Not a lot of stars can pull off those baitfish patterns," Wilde said. "Sharon Stone for one."
"Loved her blue spanker coiff at the Oscars," Dorff offered. "But then again, she'd even look good in a green butt skunk."
"Well, that about wraps it up," Wilde said.
Dorff closed with the pair's signature signoff.
"And remember, if you're going to have your hair done like a star, don't go swimming with the sharks." (source)
